


Levi x Reader: The Emotional Klutz

by SmexyLeviLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, smexylevilover emotional klutz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2958263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmexyLeviLover/pseuds/SmexyLeviLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short, comedic oneshot on Levi and Reader meeting each other for the first time, experiencing their first date, and having their first kiss. Prepare for a more than awkward adventure with the duo XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Levi x Reader: The Emotional Klutz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeneru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeneru/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Anything with an asterisk (*) is explained in further detail below.

## ~The First Meeting~

"Ugh, why did Hanji even take me here if she was planning on getting shit drunk and making me her DD*?" you groaned to no one in particular. 

You were such a sad sight. A beautiful girl on her 21st birthday, dolled up in a cute little black dress with a matching rhinestone purse, nails done with a cute but simple peach flower design, hair pulled back with a single strand curled in the front. To call you pretty would have been an understatement, especially with the way your makeup only strengthened your natural features. 

However, what made a gorgeous girl like you such a sad sight was the fact that your friend had ditched you for shots, shots, and more shots and _then_ hit the dance floor with all your other friends, who were equally wasted. You, who should have been the center of attention, were withering away on a bar stool like the dry wallflower you were. 

"Fucking boring," you commented as you leaned your elbow over the counter ungracefully.

"Tch, got that right," another voice added from the seat beside you. 

Surprised, you turned your attention towards a raven haired fellow who had managed to somehow sneak into your personal bubble. Though it alarmed you that anyone other than someone with the skills of an assassin could even manage such a feat, your eyes were immediately drawn to the chiseled features of his face. 

_It should be illegal for someone to look this hot._

Levi, the man capable of such a feat, played it cool in return, sipping slowly on whatever cheap alcohol he had ordered, half lidded eyes staring at the labels of the bottles on the shelves. The only thing he was actually looking at though was the reflection of your face. He had always had a bit of trouble staring a pretty girl in the eye, hence the long bangs that shadowed his eyes. And while today was no different, your beauty in this sea of smoke and loud music was too hard to miss.  

_You should be banned from the public eye for looking this damn good. Oh shit, I'm staring again. Look elsewhere! Walls. Walls. Walls._

"How's your drink?" you asked the man, awkwardly trying to stay calm and start up a conversation. You thought maybe he hadn't heard you since he still wasn't looking in your direction. You spoke louder this time. "Maybe I should try the same thing if it isn't too shitty."

_Or I could try some of yours and it would be an indirect kiss. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh._

Levi inwardly cringed as he tried to gather enough apathy to glue onto his exterior. He wanted to answer you, but he needed insurance for his shitty ability to make non-disturbing expressions. Feeling his features set in place, as hard as stone, he turned towards you. But he made sure to hold his glass at the rim and brought it up to his face for good measure. That was the good thing about cups and glasses. They could always hide his creepy, awkward mess of a resisting, lopsided, chuckie-the-clown smile. 

"It's pretty shitty if you ask me, but I know a cafe down the street that's open late if you want to try it," Levi replied. 

_I wonder if she'll say yes. Fuck, I hope she says yes. Fuck, why isn't she saying anything?_

Your eyes searched his seemingly emotionless face for any hint of a joke. Finding none, you bit your bottom lip to hide a squeal. 

_Oh my gosh. Someone's hitting on me for the first time! Play it cool. Play it cool. Okay, I got this._

"Hell yeah, brah," you suddenly spoke out, a hand slapping his back. "Let's blow this joint!" Oh god. Your hands moved up to immediately muffle whatever incoherent nonsense your brain had conjured. 

_Fuck my life._

An awkward silence filled the air between you two and suddenly, Levi was so thankful he had that glass at his mouth.

_I wonder if I should I tell her my name now...?_

## ~The First _Official_ Date~

So despite the awkward first encounter, somehow you both had managed to share numbers at the cafe without dropping your phones into mugs filled with hot tea. 

And now, the two of you had moved onto the next stage, the first official date!

Following the advice of his good ole pal Erwin and perhaps his marketing tactics as well, Levi had purchased a bouquet of roses from the Smith Family Flower Shop, an apparent sure-fire way to capture your heart. Levi now briskly walked towards your apartment to pick you up, flowers swinging up and down with his soldier-like movements. He kept his eyes focused on a small point in front of him, anything to avoid thinking of you.

_Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. FUCK!_

Levi went tumbling down, falling ungracefully into the pair of stairs leading to your apartment. Eyes darting left and right, he confirmed that no one had seen his misstep and dusted the flowers off as he walked up. Reading the name plates, he finally found your apartment and rung your doorbell. 

As the door opened, a suddenly light blinded Levi's vision. And your appearance parted that light, the same way Moses had parted the sea. Your wet hair sparkled brighter than any jewelry pieces Levi had considered buying for you until Erwin had convinced him that it was slightly too soon. But never mind that! The way you whipped your locks to the side -- it was all happening in slow motion for Levi, the pellets of dripped water gliding off your hair and surrounding you with a dance, as if to celebrate your beauty. 

And where those small droplets fell -- well, they fell onto Levi. More specifically, they seemed to had gathered in a region of his pants near his crotch. The inattentive Levi continued staring at you in awe while you stared back in horror. 

_Oh my god, she's so beautiful._

_Oh my god, he looks like he peed his pants and it's my fault!!!_

Coughing twice to regain his composure, Levi held out the fresh roses he had bought from Erwin. 

"For you," he said suavely. He had practiced this in the mirror about 20 times now. His charm was sure to wow you...he hoped. 

_Shit. She looks shocked. Am I smiling weirdly? Focus on something else, damnit! Walls? Are there any walls? Yes! Walls!_

You cautiously took the flowers from him, eyes darting upwards towards his face or really anywhere to avoid looking at his crotch. You forced a broad smile, teeth and all, as your mouth froze in this expression. 

_Holy shit, he bought roses. Roses! ______! How could you do this to someone who brought you roses? Shit. What am I supposed to do now?_

"Uhm, would you like to come inside, Levi? I'm still drying my hair," you laughed nervously. Yeah. Your hair. More like his _pants._

Levi was now brimming with confidence. He hadn't thought he would get to enter your apartment for at least a few more dates, but perhaps his charming features had magically worked to bring your relationship a step further. He smirked. 

"Yeah, you mind if I use your bathroom?" Levi inquired. He needed to readjust his bangs. Maybe today, his heart could handle seeing just a bit more of you. 

"Haha, sure...." you smiled back as you shut the door behind him.

 _This date is going to be horrible from the start thanks to me, especially when he sees_ that _in the mirror._

_Maybe this date won't be as shitty as I thought it'd be!_

##  ~The First Kiss~

So it was pretty obvious from the start that a first kiss was not going to happen on the first date, but it didn't end horribly as you (and eventually Levi) thought it would. And finally, you both had reached the third date, another milestone in the dating world. 

But alas, the rules of a relationship were cruel. If you both didn't kiss by the third date, y'all were screwed.

Now, the person who implanted these daring thoughts into your poor little love-struck brains shall not be mentioned -- cough, Hanji--, however what was more important now was figuring out how exactly either of you were going to initiate "the thing."

You slurped loudly in the family restaurant, where the two of you had decided to meet. Meanwhile, Levi ate his burger slowly, counting to 10 with every bite before swallowing. Neither of you knew that a shitty, glasses-wearing cupid had instilled a seed of disaster into the other's thoughts, but you both held onto that thought with a vice grip. 

_I have to kiss him._

_I have to kiss her._

With an unexpected slam to the table, you leaned over, eyes clenched shut.

_Fuck it. Let's do this shit!_

You pursed your lips, waiting for Levi to respond. 

In response, Levi's mouth gaped open in an undignified manner, the burger dropping from his hand. What kind of boyfriend would let his girlfriend go through the embarrassment of initiating the first kiss? He had to man the fuck up. His hand also slammed onto the table, sending your drink to the floor where it exploded into a mess of cold soft drink puddle. 

_Fuck it._

He leaned in to kiss you. 

_Ah, my drink fell! Wait, are those lips on my...chin? Gottah re-adjust!_

_Shit, I aimed too low. Gottah move up._

_Fuck, now his lips are near my nose._

_Fuck, how many times does it take to get a kiss god-fucking-damn right?!_

And so your lips crawled over each other in a weird mating dance sort of way, neither of you giving into defeat. After all, the perfect kiss was a necessity to establish the perfect relationship. 

"Uh, excuse me. Ma'am? Sir?" a young waiter called from the side. He twisted the edges of his brunette hair awkwardly as you two turned to face him. "Could you please...perhaps finish this another day?" he requested, holding a broom and mop in either hand. "I have to clean the drink that spilled and---"

"Fuck off, kid!"

"Fuck off, brat!"

And both of you lived happily ever after with your derpy-as-shit relationship. <3

\----------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

DD* - stands for designated driver. When peeps go out to drink, they may ask one friend to stay sober and not drink alcohol so that person can drive them home safely. Thus, that person is their DD (designated driver). 


End file.
